Hello everyone. I'm going to begin today's blog with a small scene setter.
Cast your mind back to when you are learn a language for the first time. Often the first phrases you learn are:
"Hello, how are you?"
"What is your name?"
To add to your vocabulary, you are then equipped with scenario phrases which are usually superfluous, useless, and wouldn't be said in daily practice. This is one of the first conversations I was made to learn last week:
"Duibuqi" [sorry/ excuse me]
"Mei guanxi" [don't worry]
"Xie xie" [thank you]
"Bu keqi" [you're welcome]
"These phrases", I told a fellow class mate, "are the sort you don't need to put hours into memorising. They'll come with practice and can otherwise be forgotten."
This morning friends I woke up at 6.30 to pop to the toilet. I sort of slept walked to the toilet, eyes half closed, then went immediately back to sleep. At 7.00am I was aware that a few doors were being opened and closed, but everyday the cleaners come in and out of rooms to do their work and they make as much noise as that everyday. This morning, I had my "please do not disturb sign" displayed on my door so I ignored the noise and tried to go back to sleep. At 7.30am my mobile rang. I was in part half awake because of the noise anyway, so I decided to pick it up; more to see why anyone would call me at this time.
Tapi:" Where are you?"
Imogen: "Hello Tapi, I'm asleep."
Tapi: "WHY ARE YOU ASLEEP? GET OUTSIDE THERE'S A FIRE. DON'T USE THE LIFT."
Ah, so the slightly strange smell of burning plastic wasn't part of the fabric of strange China smells, it was actually my accommodation block on fire. And my vision at 6.30am wasn't just bleary with sleep, it was also blurred by the first wafts of smoke filtering into my room.
Ok. So at first I was mildly amused by the fact that there was a fire. In England, if there's a fire it is usually that someone's over zealous kettle has set off the alarm and everyone troops outside to line up and be registered. Ok. So I got out of bed picked up my hoody and my keys. Then I realised that there was quite a lot of smoke in my room. And here's where the Imogen inner voice that I introduced you all to in India kicked in.
"Imogen, don't they usually tell you just to leave as quickly as you can?"
"Yeah, but Imogen I'm not wearing a bra."
"Yeah, but Imogen there's smoke coming in your room."
"I could just grab my lap top though? Oh, wow, there's actually smoke."
"Yes, there's actually smoke."
"This is actually a fire then."
"Yes this is actually a fire."
So I grabbed my hoody, shoes and keys and opened my door to a corridor that was black with smoke.
Sleep Imogen says "Ah, an actual fire." and I contemplated to myself, "Gosh, I wonder if I'll be any good at this fire escape business in a state of emergency. Well, let's find out..."
You see readers, we've all seen the videos at primary school, we've all been through numerous fire drills, but luckily we haven't (and fingers crossed no one will ever need to) had to actually do the real thing. This, it turns out as with everything so far, is a lot harder to put into practice in China. For a start, DO I NEED TO ADD 'do not disturb, UNLESS THERE IS A FIRE?' to my door tag? DO I? Because there were no fire alarms, no sprinkles, and NO members of staff, NO ONE who knocked on my door to tell me:
"Oh by the way, there is a fire on the fifth floor, and you're on the ninth." Hilarious.
And there was no one to tell me what on earth to do when the corridor is so black with smoke you can't see the fire escape. So, I fumbled my way forwards, pushing doors which were open (OBVIOUSLY none of the doors are fire doors here, OBVIOUSLY) until at last I got to the stairs. Hm, pretty suspicious. More smoke seems to be coming from the stair well, BUT this is my only exit so I pushed forwards.
I went down two flights of stairs before the smoke was too hot, black and difficult to breath. It was at the point that I exited the FIRE ESCAPE on the 8th floor that sleepy Imogen said,
"Ah, this is an actual fire, you're immediate escape is actually not working. PANIC."
And that is when I realised I was no good at this whole emergency fire escape business. I started shouting in the corridor and walking in the vague direction of the lift before a member of staff heard me, found me AND SAID:
"mei guanxi, mei guanxi."
I HAVEN'T COME ALL THE WAY TO CHINA TO LEARN "DON'T WORRY, DON'T WORRY" ONLY SO I CAN PUT IT INTO PRACTICE WHEN I'M TRYING TO ESCAPE A BUILDING THAT IS ON FIRE. Hilarious. The ONLY bit of Chinese I've understood so far is a phrase I cast off as 'useless', and I'm thinking to myself "oh that means don't worry". I AM WORRYING.
I am delighted to say that she lead me to another stair well where I was left to take a deep breath and walk down past the floor which was on fire and outside. I am even more delighted to say that the fire engines turned up 40 MINUTES LATER and they FILMED (THEY FILMED) the windows which had thick black smoke coming out of them, before they actually went in to sort anything out. A couple hours later, everyone but those living on the 5th and 6th floor were let back in. I went back to my room to see the damage. I am typing through a layer of ash on my lap top. Everything is covered. I went into the bathroom. To THINK I was sat quietly, happily on the toilet at 6.30am blissfully unaware that there was any real commotion, least of all a fire. I look like a panda because my face is black, and my hair is also blackened. What to do? Sit and wait for cleaners I suppose OR better still, do it myself. Whether is cleaning your own room, OR being your own fire alarm (a job I failed), it seems you can't leave much to the Chinese staff here.
It has left me a little concerned that I can sleep through plastic fumes and the stench of smoke, but I was extremely tired. I'm more concerned there don't appear to be any fire alarms.
"Mei Guanxi?" I don't think so.
Cast your mind back to when you are learn a language for the first time. Often the first phrases you learn are:
"Hello, how are you?"
"What is your name?"
To add to your vocabulary, you are then equipped with scenario phrases which are usually superfluous, useless, and wouldn't be said in daily practice. This is one of the first conversations I was made to learn last week:
"Duibuqi" [sorry/ excuse me]
"Mei guanxi" [don't worry]
"Xie xie" [thank you]
"Bu keqi" [you're welcome]
"These phrases", I told a fellow class mate, "are the sort you don't need to put hours into memorising. They'll come with practice and can otherwise be forgotten."
This morning friends I woke up at 6.30 to pop to the toilet. I sort of slept walked to the toilet, eyes half closed, then went immediately back to sleep. At 7.00am I was aware that a few doors were being opened and closed, but everyday the cleaners come in and out of rooms to do their work and they make as much noise as that everyday. This morning, I had my "please do not disturb sign" displayed on my door so I ignored the noise and tried to go back to sleep. At 7.30am my mobile rang. I was in part half awake because of the noise anyway, so I decided to pick it up; more to see why anyone would call me at this time.
Tapi:" Where are you?"
Imogen: "Hello Tapi, I'm asleep."
Tapi: "WHY ARE YOU ASLEEP? GET OUTSIDE THERE'S A FIRE. DON'T USE THE LIFT."
Ah, so the slightly strange smell of burning plastic wasn't part of the fabric of strange China smells, it was actually my accommodation block on fire. And my vision at 6.30am wasn't just bleary with sleep, it was also blurred by the first wafts of smoke filtering into my room.
Ok. So at first I was mildly amused by the fact that there was a fire. In England, if there's a fire it is usually that someone's over zealous kettle has set off the alarm and everyone troops outside to line up and be registered. Ok. So I got out of bed picked up my hoody and my keys. Then I realised that there was quite a lot of smoke in my room. And here's where the Imogen inner voice that I introduced you all to in India kicked in.
"Imogen, don't they usually tell you just to leave as quickly as you can?"
"Yeah, but Imogen I'm not wearing a bra."
"Yeah, but Imogen there's smoke coming in your room."
"I could just grab my lap top though? Oh, wow, there's actually smoke."
"Yes, there's actually smoke."
"This is actually a fire then."
"Yes this is actually a fire."
So I grabbed my hoody, shoes and keys and opened my door to a corridor that was black with smoke.
Sleep Imogen says "Ah, an actual fire." and I contemplated to myself, "Gosh, I wonder if I'll be any good at this fire escape business in a state of emergency. Well, let's find out..."
You see readers, we've all seen the videos at primary school, we've all been through numerous fire drills, but luckily we haven't (and fingers crossed no one will ever need to) had to actually do the real thing. This, it turns out as with everything so far, is a lot harder to put into practice in China. For a start, DO I NEED TO ADD 'do not disturb, UNLESS THERE IS A FIRE?' to my door tag? DO I? Because there were no fire alarms, no sprinkles, and NO members of staff, NO ONE who knocked on my door to tell me:
"Oh by the way, there is a fire on the fifth floor, and you're on the ninth." Hilarious.
And there was no one to tell me what on earth to do when the corridor is so black with smoke you can't see the fire escape. So, I fumbled my way forwards, pushing doors which were open (OBVIOUSLY none of the doors are fire doors here, OBVIOUSLY) until at last I got to the stairs. Hm, pretty suspicious. More smoke seems to be coming from the stair well, BUT this is my only exit so I pushed forwards.
I went down two flights of stairs before the smoke was too hot, black and difficult to breath. It was at the point that I exited the FIRE ESCAPE on the 8th floor that sleepy Imogen said,
"Ah, this is an actual fire, you're immediate escape is actually not working. PANIC."
And that is when I realised I was no good at this whole emergency fire escape business. I started shouting in the corridor and walking in the vague direction of the lift before a member of staff heard me, found me AND SAID:
"mei guanxi, mei guanxi."
I HAVEN'T COME ALL THE WAY TO CHINA TO LEARN "DON'T WORRY, DON'T WORRY" ONLY SO I CAN PUT IT INTO PRACTICE WHEN I'M TRYING TO ESCAPE A BUILDING THAT IS ON FIRE. Hilarious. The ONLY bit of Chinese I've understood so far is a phrase I cast off as 'useless', and I'm thinking to myself "oh that means don't worry". I AM WORRYING.
I am delighted to say that she lead me to another stair well where I was left to take a deep breath and walk down past the floor which was on fire and outside. I am even more delighted to say that the fire engines turned up 40 MINUTES LATER and they FILMED (THEY FILMED) the windows which had thick black smoke coming out of them, before they actually went in to sort anything out. A couple hours later, everyone but those living on the 5th and 6th floor were let back in. I went back to my room to see the damage. I am typing through a layer of ash on my lap top. Everything is covered. I went into the bathroom. To THINK I was sat quietly, happily on the toilet at 6.30am blissfully unaware that there was any real commotion, least of all a fire. I look like a panda because my face is black, and my hair is also blackened. What to do? Sit and wait for cleaners I suppose OR better still, do it myself. Whether is cleaning your own room, OR being your own fire alarm (a job I failed), it seems you can't leave much to the Chinese staff here.
It has left me a little concerned that I can sleep through plastic fumes and the stench of smoke, but I was extremely tired. I'm more concerned there don't appear to be any fire alarms.
"Mei Guanxi?" I don't think so.
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