On Friday I went out for dinner with a couple of friends. The party was split 3:2 Koreans to Europeans so we decided to go for a Korean Barbecue. In the middle of the table is a grill and you order your meat and vegetables, which are then cooked at your table. The meal comes with a variety of sources, dips and dressings that you dip the food into. All very nice, all very successful: it was amazing to eat meat that was recognisable and that hadn't been subjected to the Chinese spice shaker. Now, the guys also ordered a typical Korean drink to go with our meal. It comes in a small bottle, and is like a sweet wine that you drink from shot glasses. We poured the first round. All very good. We poured the second. I was the first to be offered so, being the polite, annoyingly apologetic British person that I am I said,
"No, no, you first."
The guys exchanged glances, and then there was some complicated juggling of glasses and bottles as the bottle changed hands. Now my other friend served the one who had initially offered me the drink. When it got to me again, I said,
"No, no, after you!" to the raised eyebrows of Emma (Spanish) who, having lived in London for a couple of years, knows the country's inexhaustible and pointless manners.
Now, at this point there are more concerned looks shot across the table between the Koreans, and glasses are put down, switched around, bottles handed over, until someone else serves the guy who tried to serve me. And so this ridiculous musical bottles continues with every round of bottle pouring. I didn't think anything of it. In the UK "after you" are the first words you learn after "mum" and "dad". Two people can cause a queue because the're stuck holding the doors open for each other, both saying "after you". In fact, we queue because we appreciate that we are "after" the person in front of us; no "me first", free for all. So, clearly I didn't think I was being anything other than polite when quite automatically the words "after you" escaped my mouth with every offer of drink.
Until, after the third or fourth time the bottle was passed over, one of my friends laughed and said,
"You realise in Korea it's rude to serve yourself?"
So, 'my manners' had been the cause of this ridiculous charade; not only that, by being 'polite' I was actually pushing them to be rude. Hence, the awkward faces, the quick shuffling of bottles and the switching of glasses. One country's manners are another's rude habits. It doesn't always pay to be polite.
Continuing from last week then, I've got a couple more 'random oddities and strange sightings of the inexperienced traveller' to fill you in on, and hopefully give you an idea of what I do on a day to day basis:
1) The gym: China, we need to talk about this. So classes end at 12, I do my work in the afternoon (which usually involves learning 30/40 words and forgetting 50) then go to the gym before supper. The gym is heaving with people; but these are not your usual gym bunnies people. These are hoards of girls (usually) who come to exercise wearing jeans, skirts...whatever....and then they walk, yes they walk, at a fairly leisurely pace on the cross trainer whilst reading a book or watching a film. I'm not sure I get it. If someone could explain, I'd be grateful. If there's a way to get fit which doesn't involve sweating, then China please let me know. That said, you got to be careful if you're exercising *properly*. My running pace really depends on the song I'm listening to, and on Friday I had an absolute cracker of a tune. So good was it that I ended up swinging my arms so much that I whacked the emergency stop button and went flying into the machine. Maybe I should stick to walking...
2) China fashion: don't do it, don't buy it, don't wear it. Pink fluffy shoes with hello kitty cats on them is not right for a girl in her twenties. No, no, no who told you that a Mario hat with giant wings looked good? Why the leopard print, the zebra print and all the tassels- are you responsible for the extinction of the mammoth? The depleting number of polar bears. That said, my friend was telling me that in China it is fashionable to be 'cute'. Maybe it sort of makes sense then.
3) Always give an emphatic no- you might just end up with a cuddly Asian telling you he loves you on day one. There are cultural differences. Stalkers are everywhere friends. In fact I was crossing the road the other day and I met a potential. The roads here in China are almost as bad as India, but these ones are cheekier: the green man will flash and lure you into the middle of the road, but no one tells you the traffic lights are only for cars going straight ahead. Therefore, if you're used to thinking green man means go, you must ignore it and go with your senses. Consequently, road crossing a 6 lane mega highway is a marathon and often you have to perch between lanes and bend out of the way of crazy taxi drivers. It was in this compromised state of safety that I was approached by potential stalker number 1004.
"Hello, hello, what is your name? Don't be scared why I talk to you, I just want your friendship. Don't be afraid."
Well stalker number 1004, what you don't realise is I'm well versed in the chat up lines of fellows like you and I've heard this one before. I am afraid, your reassurance does not reassure me. As a result I ended up leaping across the remaining four lanes, dodging angry taxis as I went. Kudos to him though for picking his stalker location well. As I turned around he went back to the pavement where I started, probably to wait for the next strange white albino stuck in the middle of a Beijing road.
4) Sense of humour does not translate, especially if your class is made up of 20:2 Europeans to Asia. When in class and you're asked to do a presentation on your family, do not create a slide show presentation with 'comedic' pictures of your parents with fake bears stuck to their faces. Everyone will take you deadly seriously. Someone even said, "ah, your family look very British". Do they now.
5) Your nose will be tested with the extremities of smell. In China if you keep it in, its bad. So everything must be let out. Use your imagination and add to that the fact that that includes not using deodorant. Deodorant blocks sweat and smell that should be let out apparently. Consequently if you need to buy the stuff you have to go to a Western supermarket and ask an assistant to show you to the security locked glass case where a couple bottles are usually kept. Makes for a delicious tube experience with everyone all pushed up next to each other.
Finally, the weather is getting better here in Beijing. Apparently Spring doesn't really exist so we have graduated from minus temperatures and snow last week to the temperatures in the twenties this week. Hello summer.
"No, no, you first."
The guys exchanged glances, and then there was some complicated juggling of glasses and bottles as the bottle changed hands. Now my other friend served the one who had initially offered me the drink. When it got to me again, I said,
"No, no, after you!" to the raised eyebrows of Emma (Spanish) who, having lived in London for a couple of years, knows the country's inexhaustible and pointless manners.
Now, at this point there are more concerned looks shot across the table between the Koreans, and glasses are put down, switched around, bottles handed over, until someone else serves the guy who tried to serve me. And so this ridiculous musical bottles continues with every round of bottle pouring. I didn't think anything of it. In the UK "after you" are the first words you learn after "mum" and "dad". Two people can cause a queue because the're stuck holding the doors open for each other, both saying "after you". In fact, we queue because we appreciate that we are "after" the person in front of us; no "me first", free for all. So, clearly I didn't think I was being anything other than polite when quite automatically the words "after you" escaped my mouth with every offer of drink.
Until, after the third or fourth time the bottle was passed over, one of my friends laughed and said,
"You realise in Korea it's rude to serve yourself?"
So, 'my manners' had been the cause of this ridiculous charade; not only that, by being 'polite' I was actually pushing them to be rude. Hence, the awkward faces, the quick shuffling of bottles and the switching of glasses. One country's manners are another's rude habits. It doesn't always pay to be polite.
Continuing from last week then, I've got a couple more 'random oddities and strange sightings of the inexperienced traveller' to fill you in on, and hopefully give you an idea of what I do on a day to day basis:
1) The gym: China, we need to talk about this. So classes end at 12, I do my work in the afternoon (which usually involves learning 30/40 words and forgetting 50) then go to the gym before supper. The gym is heaving with people; but these are not your usual gym bunnies people. These are hoards of girls (usually) who come to exercise wearing jeans, skirts...whatever....and then they walk, yes they walk, at a fairly leisurely pace on the cross trainer whilst reading a book or watching a film. I'm not sure I get it. If someone could explain, I'd be grateful. If there's a way to get fit which doesn't involve sweating, then China please let me know. That said, you got to be careful if you're exercising *properly*. My running pace really depends on the song I'm listening to, and on Friday I had an absolute cracker of a tune. So good was it that I ended up swinging my arms so much that I whacked the emergency stop button and went flying into the machine. Maybe I should stick to walking...
2) China fashion: don't do it, don't buy it, don't wear it. Pink fluffy shoes with hello kitty cats on them is not right for a girl in her twenties. No, no, no who told you that a Mario hat with giant wings looked good? Why the leopard print, the zebra print and all the tassels- are you responsible for the extinction of the mammoth? The depleting number of polar bears. That said, my friend was telling me that in China it is fashionable to be 'cute'. Maybe it sort of makes sense then.
3) Always give an emphatic no- you might just end up with a cuddly Asian telling you he loves you on day one. There are cultural differences. Stalkers are everywhere friends. In fact I was crossing the road the other day and I met a potential. The roads here in China are almost as bad as India, but these ones are cheekier: the green man will flash and lure you into the middle of the road, but no one tells you the traffic lights are only for cars going straight ahead. Therefore, if you're used to thinking green man means go, you must ignore it and go with your senses. Consequently, road crossing a 6 lane mega highway is a marathon and often you have to perch between lanes and bend out of the way of crazy taxi drivers. It was in this compromised state of safety that I was approached by potential stalker number 1004.
"Hello, hello, what is your name? Don't be scared why I talk to you, I just want your friendship. Don't be afraid."
Well stalker number 1004, what you don't realise is I'm well versed in the chat up lines of fellows like you and I've heard this one before. I am afraid, your reassurance does not reassure me. As a result I ended up leaping across the remaining four lanes, dodging angry taxis as I went. Kudos to him though for picking his stalker location well. As I turned around he went back to the pavement where I started, probably to wait for the next strange white albino stuck in the middle of a Beijing road.
4) Sense of humour does not translate, especially if your class is made up of 20:2 Europeans to Asia. When in class and you're asked to do a presentation on your family, do not create a slide show presentation with 'comedic' pictures of your parents with fake bears stuck to their faces. Everyone will take you deadly seriously. Someone even said, "ah, your family look very British". Do they now.
5) Your nose will be tested with the extremities of smell. In China if you keep it in, its bad. So everything must be let out. Use your imagination and add to that the fact that that includes not using deodorant. Deodorant blocks sweat and smell that should be let out apparently. Consequently if you need to buy the stuff you have to go to a Western supermarket and ask an assistant to show you to the security locked glass case where a couple bottles are usually kept. Makes for a delicious tube experience with everyone all pushed up next to each other.
Finally, the weather is getting better here in Beijing. Apparently Spring doesn't really exist so we have graduated from minus temperatures and snow last week to the temperatures in the twenties this week. Hello summer.
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