What exactly is normal?

I have just watched a film that contains strong sex, language, nudity and drug usage. It was about two Buddhists battling it out to see who would be the greatest in the land. The hero's secret tactic? Soy beans.

At least, that's the understanding you get by watching the subtitles. The film's actual title? 'War Horse', which Wikipedia describes as a "beautiful adaptation of a children's literature favourite", and the IMBd summarise as a film about "Young Albert [who] enlists to serve in World War I after his beloved horse is sold to the cavalry." Now, this is either some subversive porn, or someone has been a little absent minded whilst translating the script (or both? Quite possibly both). Somehow, someone in China has managed to turn 'War Horse' into a crack-out tale about spiritual horses on heat. As one military man proudly displays his stallion to his rival officer he talks vehemently (and the subtitles say): "This is the finest Buddhist in all the land...Here lassy [also incorrectly translated], take this soy bean!" Substitute the word 'horse' for 'Buddhist' and every food reference in the film as 'soy bean' and voila, you have a plot that even Tim Burton would think was crack out. Why the film (rated 12A) comes with the warning that it does, I'm yet to find out; but what I will say is this: you can sort of tell from the beginning that a film about horses, set and shot in the quaint and peaceful surrounds of Devon, wont exactly be crawling with over-sexed actors, dropping swear words like rappers, whilst swapping their favourite fixes to the tune of Dick Dale and His Del Tones (and by way of comparison, this is what everybody's favourite Buddhist horse chews grass to.) . I don't know, it's just a hunch...

But, this is China and nothing happens quite as you would expect. Anyone can find an alternative way to do things, even if this means being a little sly. Copying Box Office films and selling them for 10p is just an example, but it's important to note that there are no copyright laws in China. Therefore, almost everything you buy will be a copy, or a fake if you're not careful. Now, a great example of how to do things 'Chinese style' or differently is this: 

Picture yourself in the new role as canteen cleaner. Ok, it's not a cheerful job (believe me its worse than usual because here, if you don't like something it's ok to give it a good chew and swill it about in your mouth, before spitting it on the table) but there are perks if you chose to create them. So, Mr cleaner if we accept this, it's ok to stand underneath the 'No smoking' sign with a fag drooping out of your mouth whilst nonchalantly whacking the tables with a cloth. We had been wondering why, when so many people smoked in the dining hall, the staff didn't stop them. If you can't beat them, join them or, more likely, don't reprimand someone for something you also indulge in. 

But, actually, today's post is also to talk about the mundane, the ordinary, and the day-to-day stuff. Weeks have flown by and there has been little opportunity to do the sorts of things I'd consider 'blog-worthy', so I'm going to try and extract some of my 'normal' experiences that I take for granted as being 'normal' here in China. My day begins at 6.30am because classes start at 8am. At 7.40am, the university migrates from the West of the campus to the East where the classes are held. This, in itself is quite a sight: its still barely above 0 degrees here (!), and girls still manage to don invisible shorts with yellow polka dot tights; you're token 'cool lads' zip past on pink or yellow scooters (I mean it); and huddles of Chinese girls slowly negotiate their legs and get them to walk in straight lines. Classes run from 8am until 12pm, with ten minute breaks every 50 minutes. And, how do we learn here in China? Why, with good old repetition and name and shame exercises. And if you don't follow these rules, you will have the finest Buddhist in the land after you with their soy beans. 

I'll try to update this a little more often with some more 'day-to-day' stuff. If you're lucky, I may sit by my computer for the 20 hours it'll take to upload some photos over the internet here. 

A couple of final observations:

- Did you know that Beijing is one of the driest cities in the world? And when there hasn't been rain for a while, the government simply pump some into the sky. The 'fake rain' is identifiable by its consistent down flow and the fact that the government time the shower to fall over the hours of darkness when fewer people are outside. True fact. Also true, if you cause it to rain in minus degree temperatures, it dumps as thick, heavy snow. Unideal #ThankyouChina.

- As you may or may not have seen from my facebook status, the government switched the heating off today. I'm keeping the curtains drawn and jumpers are on. Very odd that someone else can control the heater in my room. Very unfortunate when it is still frickin cold. #ThankyouChina.