This seems to be the theme of my week so far. Although the week is still not over, so everything could change (I hope, I hope!) That said, I have just brushed by teeth for the third time today to try and scrub the rank taste of seaweed from my mouth: yes, the actual large, floppy floating green stuff you picture in the sea; not the neatly packages wafers that wrap sushi. I tried and I tried to convince myself that it really wasn't that bad, but actually I felt like I was licking the scale of a live fish or giving it a good snog.
Moving on! To stalkers... yes friends, I've got one. We shall call him 'Tin' (not far off the English name he chose for himself). Now, in the context of 'first week of university, let's continually swapping numbers with new people', this Tin fellow was just another 'number' in my new Chinese mobile. This, however, is what happens if you let harmless Tins have your number:
Day 1:
Tin: Hello AiMaiZen [my Chinese name], pleased to meet you -^^- [mountains? Boobs? Ah...of course, happy eyes].
Me: Nice to meet you too [who is this?].
Tin: We'll meet. I'm expecting..... [what?]
Me: I'm very busy learning Chinese.
Tin: I'm very good at letting foreigners know everything about China...
[Me: no reply, OBV].
Day 2:
Tin: Hi, could I meet you tonight? ;) [Clearly not. What was it about my no reply that suggest I would?].
Several hours pass.
Tin: So tonight?
Me: I'm busy with my friends.
Tin: Ok, tomorrow night? ;) [Again, the winky face. Pal, its not going to work.]
Me: I'm having drinks with my boyfriend.
Tin: Ok, thanks. [PHEW, the end?]
Tin: I'm experimenting on teaching the beginner, so.....
[Me: no reply]
Tin: ....using completely different Chinese theory ;)
Tin: You must learn Chinese well. [ Oh hi Yoda. What is he on?]
Me: As I said before, no thanks.
Tin: Haha [IS it funny?] you make take you're way if you want, but I'm very good. By the way, I'm interested in learning English ;) [ As IF that's going to make it any better? As IF I'm going to teach you]
[Me: no reply].
Day 3:
Tin: Hi, this is 'Tin', I recommend you something...[he goes on. As if I forgot who you were weird Tin man, as if I forgot who you were].
[Me: no reply]
Tin: I know you're a little confused why I help you. [Ah, so you're beginning to suspect your behaviour is not socially acceptable. Very intuitive] You misunderstand me. I just passionate about foreigners. [Stop there Tin man, just stop here!]
[ME: NO REPLY]
20 minutes later
Tin: Of course you may teach me English [I never offered!!] Make me better ;) [Eugh] Thanks for reading my texts [Tin, you have no idea...]
Tin: missed call.
Day 4:
Tin: missed call.
Me: Thanks but [NO THANKS] please don't contact me again.
Success? I'll keep you updated. So far so good. No Tin texts or calls. BUT the strange behaviour doesn't end here. Today I was walking past some Chinese boys chatting a way and suddenly one broke out in a perfect James Blunt rendition, accent, pinched winey voice and all. Then, as I turned (quickly) away, he stopped suddenly and went back to chatting to his friend.
AND, the other day, I was with a *new* American friend when a Chinese girl suddenly turned round to my friend and said [add Chinese accent]:
"I know you!"
American: "er, no you don't"
"yas, yas I do!"
American: "preetty sure you don't"
"Is me, Is me, remember me?"
A: "Nope, sorry!"
"Ah, you must forget, look at my face..." (Chinese girl leans in front of us and puts her face extremely close to American girl's)
It went on, would you believe, for a good five minutes. In fact for the rest of our journey together, the Chinese girl trotted along besides us laughing hysterically at almost anything the American girl said.
Now, what is going on here? It is quite possibly the food. Or is it the fact that the Chinese word for 'friend'- pengyou- is also the same word for 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend'. Ok, you can add a few words-'de' for example- to clarify exactly which relationship you're referring to, but it's otherwise a pretty vague boundary.
OR, maybe we should all adopt their tactics and walk up to someone we'd kind of like to know and just insist, relentlessly that we know them. Do it to a British person and they'll probably be too polite to say no. Score. What a way to collect 'pengyou's...or 'de pengyou's....or do I mean 'pengyous'? Both? Lots of both? TinTin would say: why not?
Moving on! To stalkers... yes friends, I've got one. We shall call him 'Tin' (not far off the English name he chose for himself). Now, in the context of 'first week of university, let's continually swapping numbers with new people', this Tin fellow was just another 'number' in my new Chinese mobile. This, however, is what happens if you let harmless Tins have your number:
Day 1:
Tin: Hello AiMaiZen [my Chinese name], pleased to meet you -^^- [mountains? Boobs? Ah...of course, happy eyes].
Me: Nice to meet you too [who is this?].
Tin: We'll meet. I'm expecting..... [what?]
Me: I'm very busy learning Chinese.
Tin: I'm very good at letting foreigners know everything about China...
[Me: no reply, OBV].
Day 2:
Tin: Hi, could I meet you tonight? ;) [Clearly not. What was it about my no reply that suggest I would?].
Several hours pass.
Tin: So tonight?
Me: I'm busy with my friends.
Tin: Ok, tomorrow night? ;) [Again, the winky face. Pal, its not going to work.]
Me: I'm having drinks with my boyfriend.
Tin: Ok, thanks. [PHEW, the end?]
Tin: I'm experimenting on teaching the beginner, so.....
[Me: no reply]
Tin: ....using completely different Chinese theory ;)
Tin: You must learn Chinese well. [ Oh hi Yoda. What is he on?]
Me: As I said before, no thanks.
Tin: Haha [IS it funny?] you make take you're way if you want, but I'm very good. By the way, I'm interested in learning English ;) [ As IF that's going to make it any better? As IF I'm going to teach you]
[Me: no reply].
Day 3:
Tin: Hi, this is 'Tin', I recommend you something...[he goes on. As if I forgot who you were weird Tin man, as if I forgot who you were].
[Me: no reply]
Tin: I know you're a little confused why I help you. [Ah, so you're beginning to suspect your behaviour is not socially acceptable. Very intuitive] You misunderstand me. I just passionate about foreigners. [Stop there Tin man, just stop here!]
[ME: NO REPLY]
20 minutes later
Tin: Of course you may teach me English [I never offered!!] Make me better ;) [Eugh] Thanks for reading my texts [Tin, you have no idea...]
Tin: missed call.
Day 4:
Tin: missed call.
Me: Thanks but [NO THANKS] please don't contact me again.
Success? I'll keep you updated. So far so good. No Tin texts or calls. BUT the strange behaviour doesn't end here. Today I was walking past some Chinese boys chatting a way and suddenly one broke out in a perfect James Blunt rendition, accent, pinched winey voice and all. Then, as I turned (quickly) away, he stopped suddenly and went back to chatting to his friend.
AND, the other day, I was with a *new* American friend when a Chinese girl suddenly turned round to my friend and said [add Chinese accent]:
"I know you!"
American: "er, no you don't"
"yas, yas I do!"
American: "preetty sure you don't"
"Is me, Is me, remember me?"
A: "Nope, sorry!"
"Ah, you must forget, look at my face..." (Chinese girl leans in front of us and puts her face extremely close to American girl's)
It went on, would you believe, for a good five minutes. In fact for the rest of our journey together, the Chinese girl trotted along besides us laughing hysterically at almost anything the American girl said.
Now, what is going on here? It is quite possibly the food. Or is it the fact that the Chinese word for 'friend'- pengyou- is also the same word for 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend'. Ok, you can add a few words-'de' for example- to clarify exactly which relationship you're referring to, but it's otherwise a pretty vague boundary.
OR, maybe we should all adopt their tactics and walk up to someone we'd kind of like to know and just insist, relentlessly that we know them. Do it to a British person and they'll probably be too polite to say no. Score. What a way to collect 'pengyou's...or 'de pengyou's....or do I mean 'pengyous'? Both? Lots of both? TinTin would say: why not?
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