....or 'hello' as we would say.
It has taken me a while to sort myself out and suss out how everything works and now, here I am 'Sorted', and 'acclimatised'. Well not really, because that's hardly ever going to be the case in China:
I've been time and time again pleasantly surprised when, in a dining hall that seats well over 2000 people, a new friend will tap me on the shoulder and say,
"Hi, Imogen! Found you!"
"Very impressive," I think to myself "that they should recognise me after having only just met me."
The thing is readers, it is not at all impressive because spotting me is like asking a near blind person to spot a donkey amongst zebras. I am that donkey friends, I am that donkey. My hair is white and no one, absolutely no one has a shade of hair that is not black or brown. People can find me easily here because I'm an albino amongst jet black wigs, a white sheep amongst black, the donkey, the dodo who never died. For this reason I will always stand out and I don't think I will ever be 'sorted' to the point of blending in here, in China.
That point was reaffirmed to me today. Just when I'm thinking that the food isn't so bad and that it takes some getting used to I saw a market stall selling donkey penis FOR FOOD. FOR FOOD. FOR FOOD?! If it smells bad don't eat it! No, let's make it simpler because people's sense of smell can vary. If it looks like a donkey's BITS (or ANY animal's bits) don't serve it on a plate. And why, why why, if you display it next to donkey hide, scorpions on a stick and grub on a barbecue is that going to make it more edible? More appealing? You think this is bad? Last night I read a menu card that proudly brandished a bright green shiny salad called 'three bean semen fried salad'. I desperately hope that that was a translation mistake. Tonight I'm sticking to BREAD and scrambled eggs made by my own, plain, English hands.
Now, aside from the obvious cultural shocks Beijing is a pretty darn, cool city. I have explored very little of it so far (it is 2/3 the size of Belgium), but last weekend I did go and visit the Olympic nest which is just down the road from my university. Architecturally it is phenomenal and it will impress you however little you care for sports. And that's not the only building that will impress you in Beijing...among the many I've yet to see, just glancing out of any window you can see awesome structures, lit up with neon signs and huge television screens. Beijing must be an architect's dream. You know when you were little and your teacher asked you to describe what the world would look like in the year 2000? Beijing gives you that sort of impression. No shop is without screens, speakers, lights or some sort of technological gadget. The tubes come with televisions (as do he taxis) on the train and actually in the tunnels.
I'm yet to really explore the place. My first week has been busy getting started with lessons. I have lessons from 8am-12am, and in the afternoon it looks like i'll be pretty busy learning some of the 20-40 (+) new words we're given each day. OR, you'll find me pursuing my new hobby: going to the Chinese gym. This is well stocked with short buff little men who strut around like chuffed little chickens. Of course, there are girls, a few internationals, but no one really does much exercise in it. They take their power walking very seriously and many people will simply hop on the running machine in their jeans to do some very serious walking. Great. I can jog at a reasonably slow pace for 20 minutes and feel like Usain Bolt.
A small, small question though about this whole China thing I've signed up for. What is this language that I have signed up for? Who came up with the sounds to form those words. This is going to be hilarious. Short of being able to put up some recordings (the internet is very slow here and sadly can't even upload photos to facebook) I will attempt to describe some of the strange contortions I have been putting my mouth through this week:
- 'zh': exists as a syllable in many words here. To form this sound simply create a round duck's bill with your lips and make a noise like a Dyson hoover.
- 'z': don't be too hasty with your hoover impression because 'z' is very different. Pretend you're in a quiet library and you're hissing through your teeth to catch someone's attention. 'Like a mouse' my teacher says- if that's truly the case I don't want to know what king of mice they have here in China.
- 'ch': how to describe a noise that sounds like you're about to burst into your finest Kermit the frog impression...
-'t, l, l', drag each letter out and add a slight wine to your voice.
That isn't.even.half. of.it. Chinese is an extremely musical language: syllables can be said at one of four tone levels. There's a high straight tone, a descending tone, an ascending tone, and an up down tone (sounds like a growl). All makes for a hilarious experience when you're the only English person sat in a classroom of South Koreans who think it is entirely normal to allow your tongue and vocal chords to be malfunctioning in such a way. BUT, I have another 19 weeks left of this so who knows, maybe it will be normal to growl when greeting someone:
Nihao.
It has taken me a while to sort myself out and suss out how everything works and now, here I am 'Sorted', and 'acclimatised'. Well not really, because that's hardly ever going to be the case in China:
I've been time and time again pleasantly surprised when, in a dining hall that seats well over 2000 people, a new friend will tap me on the shoulder and say,
"Hi, Imogen! Found you!"
"Very impressive," I think to myself "that they should recognise me after having only just met me."
The thing is readers, it is not at all impressive because spotting me is like asking a near blind person to spot a donkey amongst zebras. I am that donkey friends, I am that donkey. My hair is white and no one, absolutely no one has a shade of hair that is not black or brown. People can find me easily here because I'm an albino amongst jet black wigs, a white sheep amongst black, the donkey, the dodo who never died. For this reason I will always stand out and I don't think I will ever be 'sorted' to the point of blending in here, in China.
That point was reaffirmed to me today. Just when I'm thinking that the food isn't so bad and that it takes some getting used to I saw a market stall selling donkey penis FOR FOOD. FOR FOOD. FOR FOOD?! If it smells bad don't eat it! No, let's make it simpler because people's sense of smell can vary. If it looks like a donkey's BITS (or ANY animal's bits) don't serve it on a plate. And why, why why, if you display it next to donkey hide, scorpions on a stick and grub on a barbecue is that going to make it more edible? More appealing? You think this is bad? Last night I read a menu card that proudly brandished a bright green shiny salad called 'three bean semen fried salad'. I desperately hope that that was a translation mistake. Tonight I'm sticking to BREAD and scrambled eggs made by my own, plain, English hands.
Now, aside from the obvious cultural shocks Beijing is a pretty darn, cool city. I have explored very little of it so far (it is 2/3 the size of Belgium), but last weekend I did go and visit the Olympic nest which is just down the road from my university. Architecturally it is phenomenal and it will impress you however little you care for sports. And that's not the only building that will impress you in Beijing...among the many I've yet to see, just glancing out of any window you can see awesome structures, lit up with neon signs and huge television screens. Beijing must be an architect's dream. You know when you were little and your teacher asked you to describe what the world would look like in the year 2000? Beijing gives you that sort of impression. No shop is without screens, speakers, lights or some sort of technological gadget. The tubes come with televisions (as do he taxis) on the train and actually in the tunnels.
I'm yet to really explore the place. My first week has been busy getting started with lessons. I have lessons from 8am-12am, and in the afternoon it looks like i'll be pretty busy learning some of the 20-40 (+) new words we're given each day. OR, you'll find me pursuing my new hobby: going to the Chinese gym. This is well stocked with short buff little men who strut around like chuffed little chickens. Of course, there are girls, a few internationals, but no one really does much exercise in it. They take their power walking very seriously and many people will simply hop on the running machine in their jeans to do some very serious walking. Great. I can jog at a reasonably slow pace for 20 minutes and feel like Usain Bolt.
A small, small question though about this whole China thing I've signed up for. What is this language that I have signed up for? Who came up with the sounds to form those words. This is going to be hilarious. Short of being able to put up some recordings (the internet is very slow here and sadly can't even upload photos to facebook) I will attempt to describe some of the strange contortions I have been putting my mouth through this week:
- 'zh': exists as a syllable in many words here. To form this sound simply create a round duck's bill with your lips and make a noise like a Dyson hoover.
- 'z': don't be too hasty with your hoover impression because 'z' is very different. Pretend you're in a quiet library and you're hissing through your teeth to catch someone's attention. 'Like a mouse' my teacher says- if that's truly the case I don't want to know what king of mice they have here in China.
- 'ch': how to describe a noise that sounds like you're about to burst into your finest Kermit the frog impression...
-'t, l, l', drag each letter out and add a slight wine to your voice.
That isn't.even.half. of.it. Chinese is an extremely musical language: syllables can be said at one of four tone levels. There's a high straight tone, a descending tone, an ascending tone, and an up down tone (sounds like a growl). All makes for a hilarious experience when you're the only English person sat in a classroom of South Koreans who think it is entirely normal to allow your tongue and vocal chords to be malfunctioning in such a way. BUT, I have another 19 weeks left of this so who knows, maybe it will be normal to growl when greeting someone:
Nihao.
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